This one’s not of the feint of heart.
Whenever I have a few minutes of downtime at work – not an official break but like maybe those five minutes before a meeting starts – I indulge in a couple of unhealthy fascinations, thanks to the YouTubes.
My primary fascination is watching any kind of hardcore animal. You know that video with the annoying voice-over? That guy saying, “Honey badger don’t give a shit!” I watched it years ago before it was even a thing. Why? Because honey badgers are bad ass.
I also tend to watch videos of insects of pretty much any variety. They’re so weird and gross and almost alien I can’t help be fascinated.
Maybe I should have been a biologist. I don’t know.
I will also watch videos of any type of animals mating. Tortoises are my favorite.(1)
My other favorites are videos of pretty much any sort of parasite.
Here’s a horsehair worm extracted from a cricket.(2)
Below is a video of people extracting a human bot fly from a dude’s back. This is pretty much the grossest thing I’ve ever seen, so maybe you want to pass on it.
I won’t lie to you. The first time I watched this one I nearly passed out. Sometimes I move on to things like spider bites or sebaceous cyst extractions(3) and pretty much give up on eating for a few days.(4) Maybe this last fascination comes from the same place as my love of horror movies, but I am no more immune to squeamishness than I am to being frightened.
So there you go. Now you know that if there’s nothing much going on for a few minutes, I’m watching animals be awesome, have sex, or be inside of people.
- WARNING: If you’re a heterosexual human female, you may not want to watch the following video. You may find yourself thinking about the noises the tortoise makes at inappropriate times.
- Set to strangely jaunty music.
- Probably don’t want to click on that.
- Who am I kidding? For a few minutes is more like it.