downtime

This one’s not of the feint of heart.

Whenever I have a few minutes of downtime at work – not an official break but like maybe those five minutes before a meeting starts – I indulge in a couple of unhealthy fascinations, thanks to the YouTubes.

My primary fascination is watching any kind of hardcore animal. You know that video with the annoying voice-over? That guy saying, “Honey badger don’t give a shit!” I watched it years ago before it was even a thing. Why? Because honey badgers are bad ass. 

I also tend to watch videos of insects of pretty much any variety. They’re so weird and gross and almost alien I can’t help be fascinated.

Maybe I should have been a biologist. I don’t know.

I will also watch videos of any type of animals mating. Tortoises are my favorite.(1)

My other favorites are videos of pretty much any sort of parasite.

Here’s a horsehair worm extracted from a cricket.(2)

Below is a video of people extracting a human bot fly from a dude’s back. This is pretty much the grossest thing I’ve ever seen, so maybe you want to pass on it.

I won’t lie to you. The first time I watched this one I nearly passed out. Sometimes I move on to things like spider bites or sebaceous cyst extractions(3) and pretty much give up on eating for a few days.(4) Maybe this last fascination comes from the same place as my love of horror movies, but I am no more immune to squeamishness than I am to being frightened.

So there you go. Now you know that if there’s nothing much going on for a few minutes, I’m watching animals be awesome, have sex, or be inside of people.


  1. WARNING: If you’re a heterosexual human female, you may not want to watch the following video. You may find yourself thinking about the noises the tortoise makes at inappropriate times.
  2. Set to strangely jaunty music.
  3. Probably don’t want to click on that.
  4. Who am I kidding? For a few minutes is more like it.
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