In a house with ten cats, there are many things you always have “help” with. With some things, this so-called “help” makes the task impossible, such as tying your shoes, changing guitar strings, and returning to the sofa with your seat still vacated. With others, the task is merely more cumbersome, such as doing laundry, rolling over in your sleep, and pooping.

Many things, though, can still be accomplished, albeit under certain conditions. Meal times at our house are a careful balance of eating your food, shooing cats away, and never leaving your plate unattended.(1) It’s not too bad…when Ash and I eat together. When it’s me vs. ten cats,(2) I have to get a little crafty.

I usually eat breakfast before waking Ashley up, so I’m on my own for the first meal of the day. I combat this by feeding the cats right before I eat. This work pretty well…except for Chirpet.



Chirpet “hides” behind my iPad as I read the news. Most cats I know won’t really touch anything made from grains, but Chirpet loves toast.  If I don’t pay attention, she’ll run off with an entire slice. Over the past few week I’ve given in and started tearing off little pieces for her. It’s already something of a ritual, and I kind of enjoy it the way normal people maybe enjoy having breakfast with their kid.

But so okay. I told you all of that just do get to this:

This morning, as Chirpet and I shared some toast, I suddenly thought of something I hadn’t thought of in a long time. And so, O Faithful Reader(s), I present you: Toast.

The first time I heard this I laughed so hard I nearly drove into a wall. So if you’re reading this whilst driving, please pull over until the video had stopped.


  1. One of the kittens, Tolkien, actually stole a huge chunk of chicken right out of Ashley’s bowl of chicken and dumplings. But the amazing part was how he managed to eat over half of it while running away from me and from the other cats.
  2. Six of which are the most stubborn, entitled kittens you’ve ever met.

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