man’s health

I’m having a little trouble coming up with something today, so here’s a health-related meme for you. Maybe tomorrow I’ll have something more worth your time.

Were you born early, late or right on time? I was born precisely when the gypsy who lived in the machine at the fair told my parents I’d be born.

Chicken pox? No thanks. I’m trying to stay healthy.

Allergic to bees? Nope. My brother and I spent our summers collecting bees in jars. Between us, we’ve been stung a few thousand times. Not only are we not allergic, we can commune with them in their own secret language.

How about strawberries? Nope.

Hereditary illness? Being awesome. It doesn’t cause me too much trouble, but people around me sure do get grumpy about it.

Have you ever been in a car accident? Yep. And I’ve even been in a car on purpose.

How much do you smoke? I smoke everyone who ever challenges me at anything. Except first-person shooters. I really suck at those.

How much do you drink? Not often, but when I decide I’m drinking for an evening, I drink enough to be entertaining as hell to my lovely wife. Sometimes she even encourages me to have a few beers just for fun.

Is your cholesterol normal? Nope. I have especially awesome cholesterol. Part of that genetic disorder.

Have you ever run a marathon? No, I was just the clerk.

How many x-ray’s have you had (not including dentist)? I have no idea, but it’s the ones at the dentist I remember most. After all, it’s not that often you puke on people whilst sober, so it makes for a memorable occasion.

Have you ever had surgery? Nope. No one makes me bleed my own blood.

Do you watch what you eat? Sure do. If I don’t watch what I eat, it becomes cat food.

When was the last time you worked out? Hmm…I once picked up a book someone dropped.

What is your ideal weight? Honestly, while I’m a fan of the pound, I would rather we use the gram. Math isn’t my strong suit, but I can handle multiplying and dividing by tens.

Current? No thanks. I don’t feel like being plugged in right now.

How old was the oldest living relative in your immediate family? I’m disheartened that this question is in the past tense.

Veggies or Fruit? I find fruit much tastier, plus the cats really hate how most fruit smells. It’s fun to watch them back away in fear from a tiny little clementine.

Low-carb or High-carb? All-carb. If there’s a carb on the table, I eat it. Same with protein. And fat.

How do you want to die? I don’t really care, I just hope to say something moderately worthwhile as it happens. Or at least something wonderfully cryptic. But chances are I’ll just drop a swear word or fart. So that sucks.


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