tech-speak

Tech people tend to speak their own language. This is nothing new. Thanks to the commoditization of tech over the past two decades, the divide is somewhat more readily crossed. But still most people get a bit glossy-eyed in the presence of a technolinguist.

Ever since I read the manual on my family’s new Apple IIc back in maybe 1986, I’ve been somewhat above average in this area. I knew what a modem was before one was included in every computer.(1) I even knew that it was an abbreviation.(2) In they years hence, I’ve not lost my aptitude for techno-jargon.(3)

Nevertheless, I had a hard time decoding this email sent to me from the IT guy at the library:

Boat it.s was supposed to drop that off Friday and I parent meeting flaked on me I’ll send them an email and tell him to deliver directly to you and I make a stern 1 I apologize

sent from mobile device

I read it like five times and this is what I came up with:

Boat [Bo] it.s was supposed to [be] drop[ped] that off Friday and I parent meeting flaked on me [no clue][.] I’ll send them an email and tell him to deliver directly to you and I make a stern 1 [wait. wait?] I apologize[.] [For?]

sent from mobile device

My best guess is that the iMac I asked for didn’t get dropped off on Friday because something something. It should get dropped off to me. Sometime. Probably.(4)

When I asked him about it he said that he’d used Android’s dictation function, but I have a feeling he just typed it up, read it, laughed, and sent it. Because like all good IT people, he’s had too much sugar every day since he was like two.

Nevertheless, he worked to get me the iMac even while he was on vacation. So I guess I shouldn’t bitch too much.


  1. And then was subsequently no longer included, ejected in favor of Ethernet and then Wi-Fi.
  2. Modulator-demodulator.
  3. Though 1337-speak is beyond me, nor do I really care, it being more shibboleth than jargon.
  4. Got it yesterday.
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