achievement unlocked: ultimate badge

A little while back I blogged about Google News’s Badges. What I like about the badges is that each one has an associated star: bronze, silver, gold, platinum, and…

And I didn’t know. I could see that there was room for another star on the badge…

…but I couldn’t figure out how many articles I needed to read to achieve it. I thought it’d be 60. Then 65. Then 70.

75.

80?

85?

Turns out it’s 90. If you read 90 articles on a given topic(1) you get the ULTIMATE BADGE!

Granted, I could have just clicked-through to politics articles and figured this out much faster, but I prefer to earn my fake badges, be they Google News badges, Foursquare stickers, Gowalla stamps or stinking badges.(2)

What does an Ultimate Badge get me? Well, to answer that I thought I’d look at other “ultimate” things.

Ultimate Marvel: From this I infer that I’ll be born all over again and the stories from my life that everyone knows and loves will be more stylistic, more drawn out, and suckier.

Windows 7 Ultimate: I’ll be buggy and unstable. But elite.

Ultimate-Guitar.com: Rather than giving people what they want, I’ll let other people give watered-down versions of what they want while I shout advertisements at them.

Ultimate Frisbee: People will be surprised that such a thing as me exists.

Droid Ultimate: I’ll be buggy and unstable. But elite. With an aggressive marketing campaign.

Ultimate Indoor Football League: I’ll be a lame, indoor version of a game that pretty much everyone who loves it loves it because it’s one of most hardcore things ever.(3)

Ultimate Fighting: Some muscle-laden sweat-factory of a man will come along and dominate me in quasi homo-erotic fashion. So…nothing new.

Hmm…maybe this achievement isn’t quite what I’d hoped it would be. But at least it comes with multi-colored stars!


  1. I’m not sure if it’s 90 articles within a certain time-period, or just a flat 90 articles.
  2. Couldn’t resist.
  3. This really exists.
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