1. Who would you like to show up at your door to say they love you?

Ashley. Though, of course, she’d have to leave in order to show up at the door. But still.

2. Last furry thing you touched?

Either one of the cats or one of the shirts I was wearing when one of the cats last used my torso as a site of repast.

3. How many drugs have you done in the last three days?

Uhm…Omeprazole I guess is technically a drug. So one. Oh wait. Also took some Aleve this morning just because I anticipated a headache. So two. Unless we’re talking individual pills. Then it’s more like five.

4. Do you miss film or does digital work for you?

Well let’s see. Back when I had to buy film I never had money for the film. Nor did I have money for the development. So I think in the years pre-digital-cameras I took a dozen pictures. Maybe. Now I take a dozen pictures when I poop.1 So I’d say digital works for me.2

5. Favorite age you have been so far?

I really enjoyed being four. Like a lot. Once I turned five things kinda went to hell.

6. Your worst enemy?

I’d say probably myself. Though part of me contends that we’re besties.

7. What is your current desktop picture?


8. What was the last thing you said that was funny?

You had to be there.3

9. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly what would it be?

I’ll take flying for $1000, Alex.

10. Who can’t you say “no” to?

See question 1, supra.

11. The last song you bought or downloaded?

I’m not sure.

12. What time of day were you born?

Mom says 9:10AM. Since everything has been downhill for her since that moment, I’m inclined to trust her memory.

13. What’s your favorite number? Why?

Any number I can use to signify a footnote.4 Because footnotes are awesome.

14. Where did you live in 1987?


15. Are you jealous of anyone?

I’m sort of jealous of this one guy I was in creative writing classes with who now has a book of short stories coming out. I always knew he was a great writer (and he is), but now I think he’s also kind of a douchebag.5

16. Is anyone jealous of you?

Why would they be?

17. It’s been almost a decade. Where were you when 9/11 happened?

Buying cigarettes at a carry-out in the same town I live in now.

  1. Not really.
  2. I’m assuming this question means do I miss using film and not watching movies from analog-v-digital projectors.
  3. I’m not being coy. This is literally the last thing I said that got a laugh.
  4. Like that one.
  5. Not that publication has gone to his head. It’s the jealousy talking.

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