valentine’s day mix-tape 2011 (sic)

The hardest part of Valentine’s Day is in the writing. The explaining. Love is like water: try to examine it and it just runs through your hands.

This is why people make mix-tapes.1 It is easier for me to put together a pastiche of other people’s words to create a mosaic-like image of why I love you.

Of how I feel about you.

I’ve been considering how to write this post for a few weeks now. I have no idea how to say what I feel. So today, my love, you get a mix-tape – blog style.

Now, before we get started I need to tell you something about me that you have no reason to already know. Back in the day when I would spend a week hunting down just the right songs and get them in just the right order and press buttons labels ‘record’ and ‘play’ and ‘pause’ all in the name of someone with whom I was exceptionally fascinated2, I was never merely content to let other people’s words speak for me.3 I always included a custom-made sleeve or booklet in which I would explain why each song was included in the mix.

I’ve done the same thing here, again blog-style.

So…here is it, your Valentine’s Day Mix-Tape 2011 (sic)

When I hear or try to sing this I almost always choke up with tears. The chorus – every word of it – is exactly what I could never have written for you.

This. This is what you do for me. I am Bo, the Great Worrier. You help me remember that, as they say, everything will turn out all right. Thank you for that.

This seems like a silly choice, but honestly I feel like we’re more Kermit-and-Fozzy than anything else. This song captures the silliness and the joy I feel when you and I go places, even just for a drive.4

This song is here to remind you that you’re awesome. All on your own.

Of everything else, I am most proud and pleased to call you my friend.

And, finally:

I don’t know if we have something we call ‘our’ song. But in my head, it’s this one. I will always remember how you started crying that one time in your class. Whenever I am wrecked with doubt and my own terminal loneliness, I take myself back to that moment.

So…there you go. That’s the best way I know how to say what I want to say on this day.

I love you Ashley.

  1. Well, okay. These days people burn CDs and/or make playlists. I tell you that despite the superior audio quality, making a mix-tape is more fun, more artistic, and more honest.
  2. As I am with you.
  3. Big surprise, right?
  4. That lands us in the middle of a fireworks festival in Indiana. How weird was that?

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