swann’s meme

I saw this over at Blogography, and figured it’s a good day for some lazy blogging. This thing’s being called the Proust Questionnaire. I’m not entire sure why that is because it seems like a regular ol’ meme to me, but whatever. Here goes:

What is your idea of perfect happiness?
Driving a car on an open motorway with my iPod blaring and a never-ending and somehow non-carcinogenic pack of cigarettes at my side.(1)

What is your greatest fear?
Fear. Yeh try to lose it, but it comes and goes.

Which historical figure do you most identify with?
Jack Kerouac, if he counts. Buddha if not.

Which living person do you most admire?
His Holiness the Dalai Lama.

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
The need to differentiate myself from everyone around me.

What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Willful ignorance.

What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
Can a virtue be overrated? Hmm…I guess I’d say having money.

On what occasion do you lie?
Only if honesty will do more harm than a lie.

What is your greatest extravagance?
If I actually paid for my music collection, instead of availing myself of the library, it would be that.

What is your current state of mind?
Using work time to blog. So part pleased, part damning the man, and part guilty.

What is the quality you most like in a man?
To be a decent person. Many guys don’t care about being assholes.

What is the quality you most like in a woman?
Boobs. Also a well-honed sense of humor and comedic timing.

What or who is the greatest love of your life?
Music is and always will be my constant.

Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
I wouldn’t say I overuse any of them. I would say I use them exactly as many times as they need be used. But I might say ‘your mom’ too much. And I might also talk about my taint a little too frequently. And poop. And my gigantic balls.

When and where were you happiest?
In your mom.(2)

What do you consider your greatest achievement?
Having written a novel.

What is your most treasured possession?
My signed copy of Fierce Invalids Home from Hot Climates.

Who are your favorite writers?
Tom Robbins, David Foster Wallace, Jack Kerouac, William Shakespeare

Who is your favorite hero of fiction?
Switters.(3) And/or Batman.

Which talent would you most like to have?
The ability to get off my ass and do what I want to do with my life.

If you could change one thing about your family, what would it be?
My family.

If you died and came back as a person or thing, what do you think it would be?
A pimple on the ass end of the universe.

What do you dislike most about your appearance?
Kinda fat.

Where would you like to live?
Cleveland, OH(4) or Dublin.(5)

Who are your heroes in real life?
Anyone who does the greater good, for all.

What is your most treasured possession?
My books. In some ways, they’re my best friends. And I’m always happy to see them there on my shelves.

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
Not feeling that you are loved.

What do you most value in your friends?
Acceptance. Loyalty.

What are your favorite names?
Ashley. Courtney. Liam. Dylan. Batman.

What is it that you most dislike?
Rod Stewart. And selfishness.

What is your greatest regret?
I’ve hurt way too many people. Most of it happened unintentionally, but if I could take that back I would.

How would you like to die?
I don’t care. I just want to say something interesting or funny when I go, even though I know I’ll most likely say “shit” or “motherfucker.”

What is your motto?
Anything is worth doing if it’s done with the intent of making someone laugh.


  1. And footnotes.
  2. Told you so.
  3. From the prenominate Fierce Invalids…
  4. Specifically, Tremont.
  5. Ireland, not Ohio.
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